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So last night was my cousins 21st birthday. just another standard function, with the standard bunch of people, only this was different for me. this was a reminder of what i dont have and maybe never will. 2 best friends who have been there through EVERYTHING with me, a whole bunch of other friends that know the ins and outs of the last 5 years of my life, a loving family who supported every choice and decision ive made and a room full of people who know and love me for who i am and want to be. just in general blend of people who love who i am.
there’s a very big difference to loving someone you really, truly, have taken the time to get to know, and loving someone who has a portion of your blood and dna coursing through their veins. the later definition i have no interest in.
all i want to do is start over. pack up and leave it all behind. fresh place with no one who knew or thinks they knew me. cause once your defined in someone elses mind, no matter the proof the contrary, youll always be who they think you are. and thats no way to live a life - always as the person you were before. people change. deal with it
